Grace

[kerravonsen]

No, things have not changed. Things are still as uncertain and stressy as I've been putting behind friends-locked posts. I'd been musing/moping this morning on the thought that "pain is God's megaphone" (I think Lewis said that) and wondering what it was that I was too stupid and thick-headed not to be able to hear any other way -- yes, I wasn't stupid enough to think that God was punishing me, but I ended up punishing myself anyway, remembering words from an ex-friend which basically said that I was willfully ignoring God when he was shouting at me, so I wasn't feeling too happy at all.

Then it occurred to me, when I was in the bathroom, that God must have known, when I fell out that window when I was 18 months old, that this day would come. This wasn't a sudden punishment, it was a consequence. And what did God do? He gave me a support system. He gave my aged parents a good stretch, so that they would be in a position to help me, instead of the other way around. He gave me incentive to get private health insurance long before I dreamed I would need it. He gave me a job, and enabled me to keep going. He gave me a good church to fellowship with. He gave me friends to encourage me.

This is grace.

God is good.

And maybe that's what he's been shouting at me.

Comments

[mistraltoes.livejournal.com]

This is quite bizarre. This post is not showing up on my friends page, only when I look directly at your journal. Had the same thing happen several months ago with another friend's post. Wonder what glitch causes that, or how many other posts I've missed. Strange.

Anyway. I'm so glad that you're able to count blessings. And it's true that God can use our pain to advantage. Going to have to disagree with Lewis, however. What is God shouting at a frightened, hurting child in an abusive home? What is he shouting at a rape victim? At a sick and lonely elderly widow at the end of a long life? Lewis's thesis may be true sometimes, but not always. Sometimes pain is just a result of living in the world. Sometimes it's the attack of the enemy. And to think that, every time pain comes along, that God is trying to tell us something - that, IMO, is perilously close to thinking one is being punished, and a perfect camouflage for the enemy to attack from. Because one winds up doing just what you said - wondering what one is too stupid to hear. And that's not how it works. There are only two reasons not to hear God when He speaks. One is an unprepared or unwilling mind and heart; the other is interference by the enemy. Neither has anything to do with stupid. And believe you me, when God really wants to be heard, He makes himself heard, no matter how stupid or unwilling the listener.

And sometimes, God simply doesn't speak, no matter how carefully we are listening. I don't know why. But perhaps that is the time, as they said on Joan of Arcadia, to 'learn to see in the dark'.

Of course, advice is worth what you pay for it, and you're getting this for free. However, it's cost me rather a lot, so I'm not just grabbing it out of my top hat like a rabbit. ;-)

[kerravonsen]

Of course, advice is worth what you pay for it, and you're getting this for free. However, it's cost me rather a lot, so I'm not just grabbing it out of my top hat like a rabbit.
LOL!

There are only two reasons not to hear God when He speaks. One is an unprepared or unwilling mind and heart; the other is interference by the enemy. Neither has anything to do with stupid.

Well, replace "stupid" with any negative term you care to choose -- like hard-hearted. That was what I was feeling.

And believe you me, when God really wants to be heard, He makes himself heard, no matter how stupid or unwilling the listener.

I should remember Balaam's Ass more often.