Strangely Enough, I am Alive

[kerravonsen]

(reposted from Mastodon) I am wary of New Year's resolutions; they tend to become a burden. New Year's plans? Plans often go awry and shatter. As an INTJ, I am excellent at plans, and even better at beating myself up for failing them. No, let me not make plans. Let it go.

And yet, this is still a time for thought, for looking forward.

So. What things shall I look forward to making un-plans about in this coming year? What is going to make me cheerful and excited, rather than burdened?

Have a list...

1. More knitting (and crochet) but it is the knitting I am looking forward to more, because I feel as if there is still a lot for me to learn, new things to do. I'm still on a yarn-buying moratorium, because I still need to make a good dint in my enormous stash. And it will feel good to make a dint in my stash.
   What new knitting things will I learn? Will I master increasing/decreasing in two-colour brioche stitch, thus making those amazing flowing patterns? Will I figure out how to make a knitted rhombus and use that to make a blanket that looks like an illusion cube? Or will I merely manage to use up the grey wool eyelash yarn which keeps winking at me from the box on top of my dresser?
2. To finish certain craft projects before the end of the year. There are some projects that I am certain that I will finish, some that I am sure I will work on (but not necessarily finish) and others which are nice ideas which may or may not come to fruition. Let me not become frustrated with my inability to do everything at once.
   Also, making a long list of these would be counter-productive, however tempted I am to do so. Because the list is long.
3. There is going to be scrumptious fanfic to read. That is a certainty. Including MTH fanfic which I bid on and will be written for ME. But even not including that, I know there is scrumptious fanfic, because it is downloaded already and on my ebook reader.
4. A change in medication may improve my health, but it will take about three months before it fully kicks in. Slow-working, yes. But it is still a hope. AND there is another medication (not on PBS) which I could try if this medication does not work. So, still hope. Just need to hang in there.
5. Finding things I can use my new Senior's Card to get discounts on. Not sure how to go about that, because I don't have the boldness to just ask. Any suggestions?
6. This thing is not so certain; I would like to overcome my paradoxical urge to not read/watch entertainment which I percieve myself to be "behind" on. Why does this happen? It happens because I feel guilty about being "behind" on the thing, and that guilt makes me feel negative about the thing, and that... makes me want to NOT do it.
   This is a very frustrating psychological hangup of mine, which I don't know how to overcome. Any suggestions?
7. Decluttering. I am pecking away at this, like the bird pecking at the mountain. I made some nice progress last year, and I will make some nice progress this year... once I figure out the next thing to tackle. It will happen, and freeing up more space will make me feel less overwhelmed by STUFF.
8. New music. I have a pile of CDs which have been waiting for me to rip them to MP3, including my most recent acquisition, a gift from my brother. We were listening to the CD in his car, on the way to Christmas Dinner at his place, and I was admiring the music, inquiring who the group was, and he said, no, it's out of print, you won't find it anywhere... and then he simply gave me the CD. Wasn't that nice?
   So, yes, high time that ripping of music happened, so that I can chuck it all onto my continuous randomplay and listen to stuff all day...
9. More art-making. I haven't made any fluid art in more than a year, because part of me felt that I wasn't allowed to until I had transferred all my art to my shop at https://www.fluid-visions.com - and, alas, I still feel that way, ugh. Me and my hangups. But I also miss my fluid art, it is so... organic and pretty.
   Tell me I am being silly and that the universe will forgive me.
10. Practice being gentle with myself. Embrace the fact that I am Officially Retired and I am therefore Allowed To Rest. This is hard.

Comments

[mundungus42]

Catching up after a rather hectic end to 2025, but hooray! Nice to see this update from you and your list of things to look forward to! That’s a lovely way of thinking about non-resolutions. I also very much hear you on the decluttering little by little. We’re in the very slow process of moving into our newly renovated kitchen, which has been completely reconfigured, so very few things are going to be where they were before, even though few things are configured as “before.” We did some significant winnowing of kitchen stuff before moving it all out, but a lot more remains to be done, especially the fiddly little stuff.

Here’s to a slow and gradual and satisfying decluttering of both of our spaces, and HAPPY RETIREMENT!!

[kerravonsen]

Yes, I've been neglecting Dreamwidth shamefully this past year, partly because I've been quite absorbed with Mastodon, especially the knitting and crochet folks there. (Following hashtags knitting and crochet is the way to do that).

New kitchen! How exciting! And yes, opportunity to re-think how things are placed, but it is also work to re-think how things are placed. And, yet, also very satisfying to get things organised.

I'm still trying to wrap my brain around being Officially Retired. I've been unofficially retired for a few years, due to various things, but I couldn't really relax into it, because I wasn't "supposed" to be retired yet. But now I have a card to prove it!

[fred_mouse]

On seniors card: One of our local cafes does a 10% across the board discount for seniors; there is also a sign up about it at the local pharmacy.

[kerravonsen]

Thank you!