OTP or not OTP?
May. 9th, 2008 11:04 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kerravonsenSome thinky thoughts I had in the bus this morning...
I don't believe in One True Pairing; not in fiction, and not in life, either.
The idea of One True Pairing is that not only is it True Love between the two, but that nobody else in the entire universe could be the True Love of the other. It's the second bit that I don't believe in. No, I'm not advocating polygamy! It's just that I think that more than one person could have the potential to be the True Love of somebody. Maybe it's because one of my uncles was a widower, and he remarried, and he didn't love one wife less than the other, though they were different people.
So how can love be True if it isn't a singular connection with that unique soulmate? It can be True because love is more than just attraction, love is more than just having something in common; everyone has the potential to be loved (because God loves everyone, so there must be something there to be loved): love lifts the veil of surface pettiness and sees the goodness in a person. True Love is all of these things, plus one more factor: commitment. The exclusivity of a True Pairing is bound up with the couple's commitment to each other: it's both a cause and an effect.
"'Til Death do us part" isn't just a soppy romantic concept: it is actually what makes a marriage work. Because if both of them vow to that level of commitment, then there is more trust, and there is no easy out: difficulties in the relationship are to be overcome rather than run away from. Overcoming difficulties makes the relationship stronger; understanding, trust and love grow. The love is True, not because it is magical, but because they are true to each other.
And yes, some people just don't suit. I'm not arguing with that. But I don't think there's Just One Possible Soulmate, either.
Which is why, from a fannish point of view, I get a bit irritated at the AU stories which show how completely devastated and empty Character A's life would be if they never met Character B, and that as soon as they meet Character B there is a magical connection between them, inexplicable and inescapable. No. That's missing the point of what love is. It's also lazy writing. It can be hard work trying to figure out the points on the journey from acquaintance to friendship to love -- but very rewarding, that's what I'm writing this stuff for: the journey.
Yes, I do write mostly gen, but I have had a touch of shipping too, and I'll read shippy stuff also. And I'm not exclusive in my shipping. I mean, yes, I go for Avon/Cally but Avon/Soolin or Avon/Dayna can be believed too. Yes, Doctor/Rose, but sometimes Doctor/Martha appeals (and even Doctor/Cally, because![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
astrogirl2 is deliciously persuasive). Of course Doctor/Romana. And then we have Snape, ah, Snape. Snape/Maud, yes! And yet I turn around and add to the insanity of the world by writing Snape/Anya all by myself, a pairing which I doubt will ever be written about by anyone else.
On the other hand, some pairings make my brain melt, like Doctor/Ace (or really, the Doctor with most of his companions just Does Not Compute for me).
I don't believe in One True Pairing; not in fiction, and not in life, either.
The idea of One True Pairing is that not only is it True Love between the two, but that nobody else in the entire universe could be the True Love of the other. It's the second bit that I don't believe in. No, I'm not advocating polygamy! It's just that I think that more than one person could have the potential to be the True Love of somebody. Maybe it's because one of my uncles was a widower, and he remarried, and he didn't love one wife less than the other, though they were different people.
So how can love be True if it isn't a singular connection with that unique soulmate? It can be True because love is more than just attraction, love is more than just having something in common; everyone has the potential to be loved (because God loves everyone, so there must be something there to be loved): love lifts the veil of surface pettiness and sees the goodness in a person. True Love is all of these things, plus one more factor: commitment. The exclusivity of a True Pairing is bound up with the couple's commitment to each other: it's both a cause and an effect.
"'Til Death do us part" isn't just a soppy romantic concept: it is actually what makes a marriage work. Because if both of them vow to that level of commitment, then there is more trust, and there is no easy out: difficulties in the relationship are to be overcome rather than run away from. Overcoming difficulties makes the relationship stronger; understanding, trust and love grow. The love is True, not because it is magical, but because they are true to each other.
And yes, some people just don't suit. I'm not arguing with that. But I don't think there's Just One Possible Soulmate, either.
Which is why, from a fannish point of view, I get a bit irritated at the AU stories which show how completely devastated and empty Character A's life would be if they never met Character B, and that as soon as they meet Character B there is a magical connection between them, inexplicable and inescapable. No. That's missing the point of what love is. It's also lazy writing. It can be hard work trying to figure out the points on the journey from acquaintance to friendship to love -- but very rewarding, that's what I'm writing this stuff for: the journey.
Yes, I do write mostly gen, but I have had a touch of shipping too, and I'll read shippy stuff also. And I'm not exclusive in my shipping. I mean, yes, I go for Avon/Cally but Avon/Soolin or Avon/Dayna can be believed too. Yes, Doctor/Rose, but sometimes Doctor/Martha appeals (and even Doctor/Cally, because
astrogirl2 is deliciously persuasive). Of course Doctor/Romana. And then we have Snape, ah, Snape. Snape/Maud, yes! And yet I turn around and add to the insanity of the world by writing Snape/Anya all by myself, a pairing which I doubt will ever be written about by anyone else.On the other hand, some pairings make my brain melt, like Doctor/Ace (or really, the Doctor with most of his companions just Does Not Compute for me).
no subject
Date: 2008-05-13 05:06 am (UTC)The theory I developed afterward was that people are a lot like puzzle pieces. They get banged around and dented and remolded (and sometimes broken, and put back together differently) as life goes on. At any given point, they may bump into another who perfectly interlocks-- at that moment in time. Which they may or may not even realize. And whether the two change together in future, so as to remain "interlockable", or change in ways that make them no longer fit together, is equal parts luck, effort, and Providence after that.