Here I Stand
Jun. 6th, 2021 11:36 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kerravonsen(I started saying stuff on Twitter this morning... realised it turned into a longer thread, so I'm posting an expanded version here.)
Sometimes the only thing I can do to "live in the world but not of it" is to be polite and silent, refusing to engage in discussions of morality, saying that other people's morals are NOT MY BUSINESS. Does that make me a coward? I hope rather it makes me a peacemaker. Take-home from this: if I am silent on a subject, it doesn't necessarily mean I agree with you. I hope, rather, that I am following the command "Judge not, lest you be judged."
I am glad that I am not in a position to be required to judge, such as being someone in authority over others. That I am able to say "It is not my business what other people do, it is not my business how they choose to sin. We are ALL sinners. My sins are not less than yours."
It is not my business who you sleep with.
It is not my business how you dress.
It is not my business what bathroom you go into.
It is my business how I interact with you.
I will not shun you.
I will respect your pronouns, because I would much rather be polite than obnoxious.
It is your business how you choose to interact with me.
If you ASK me what my position on something is, do not expect me to lie. Being silent is the best I can do. Perhaps the fact that I disagree with you makes you feel that I am silently judging you. If you feel that, that makes me sad. It will not change my position, but it still makes me sad.
When I was younger, I was far too quick to speak up about what my position was, because I was insecure enough to be afraid that people might actually think that I agreed with XYZ if I remained silent, if I didn't quickly defend ABC instead, if I didn't correct people's assumptions. Perhaps I've gone too far in the other direction, but many painful interactions (and the internet is a TERRIBLE place to have nuanced discussions, really) have taught me that I ought to shut up instead. Mostly.
And I need to try not to worry about what I imagine people think of me. As do we all.
Sometimes the only thing I can do to "live in the world but not of it" is to be polite and silent, refusing to engage in discussions of morality, saying that other people's morals are NOT MY BUSINESS. Does that make me a coward? I hope rather it makes me a peacemaker. Take-home from this: if I am silent on a subject, it doesn't necessarily mean I agree with you. I hope, rather, that I am following the command "Judge not, lest you be judged."
I am glad that I am not in a position to be required to judge, such as being someone in authority over others. That I am able to say "It is not my business what other people do, it is not my business how they choose to sin. We are ALL sinners. My sins are not less than yours."
It is not my business who you sleep with.
It is not my business how you dress.
It is not my business what bathroom you go into.
It is my business how I interact with you.
I will not shun you.
I will respect your pronouns, because I would much rather be polite than obnoxious.
It is your business how you choose to interact with me.
If you ASK me what my position on something is, do not expect me to lie. Being silent is the best I can do. Perhaps the fact that I disagree with you makes you feel that I am silently judging you. If you feel that, that makes me sad. It will not change my position, but it still makes me sad.
When I was younger, I was far too quick to speak up about what my position was, because I was insecure enough to be afraid that people might actually think that I agreed with XYZ if I remained silent, if I didn't quickly defend ABC instead, if I didn't correct people's assumptions. Perhaps I've gone too far in the other direction, but many painful interactions (and the internet is a TERRIBLE place to have nuanced discussions, really) have taught me that I ought to shut up instead. Mostly.
And I need to try not to worry about what I imagine people think of me. As do we all.
no subject
Date: 2021-06-06 03:12 pm (UTC)By the way, it was lovely to hear from you this morning. I suggest that if you do it again, we transfer to Zoom or discord after the first minute or two, so that I can see some of your braiding and I can show you what I'm weaving.
Because I'd love to know how your braiding works.
no subject
Date: 2021-06-06 07:36 pm (UTC)Oh, Discord can do video chats? Cool. I joined Discord a couple of years ago and then promptly forgot about it. I've just recently become more active there because a fan exchange (Marvel Reverse Big Bang) does a lot of their communication on Discord.
As expected, my ID on Discord is "kerravonsen" if you want to look me up.
no subject
Date: 2021-06-08 08:42 am (UTC)I'm Judith#7778
I'll need your #number as well as your name to be able to friend you.
I'm using it a lot at present. A friend of ours started a role-playing space exploration game not long after lockdown started, and chatting in character to the other players contributed greatly to keeping me sane this last year and a half.
no subject
Date: 2021-06-08 09:01 am (UTC)