Here I Stand
Jun. 6th, 2021 11:36 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kerravonsen(I started saying stuff on Twitter this morning... realised it turned into a longer thread, so I'm posting an expanded version here.)
Sometimes the only thing I can do to "live in the world but not of it" is to be polite and silent, refusing to engage in discussions of morality, saying that other people's morals are NOT MY BUSINESS. Does that make me a coward? I hope rather it makes me a peacemaker. Take-home from this: if I am silent on a subject, it doesn't necessarily mean I agree with you. I hope, rather, that I am following the command "Judge not, lest you be judged."
I am glad that I am not in a position to be required to judge, such as being someone in authority over others. That I am able to say "It is not my business what other people do, it is not my business how they choose to sin. We are ALL sinners. My sins are not less than yours."
It is not my business who you sleep with.
It is not my business how you dress.
It is not my business what bathroom you go into.
It is my business how I interact with you.
I will not shun you.
I will respect your pronouns, because I would much rather be polite than obnoxious.
It is your business how you choose to interact with me.
If you ASK me what my position on something is, do not expect me to lie. Being silent is the best I can do. Perhaps the fact that I disagree with you makes you feel that I am silently judging you. If you feel that, that makes me sad. It will not change my position, but it still makes me sad.
When I was younger, I was far too quick to speak up about what my position was, because I was insecure enough to be afraid that people might actually think that I agreed with XYZ if I remained silent, if I didn't quickly defend ABC instead, if I didn't correct people's assumptions. Perhaps I've gone too far in the other direction, but many painful interactions (and the internet is a TERRIBLE place to have nuanced discussions, really) have taught me that I ought to shut up instead. Mostly.
And I need to try not to worry about what I imagine people think of me. As do we all.
Sometimes the only thing I can do to "live in the world but not of it" is to be polite and silent, refusing to engage in discussions of morality, saying that other people's morals are NOT MY BUSINESS. Does that make me a coward? I hope rather it makes me a peacemaker. Take-home from this: if I am silent on a subject, it doesn't necessarily mean I agree with you. I hope, rather, that I am following the command "Judge not, lest you be judged."
I am glad that I am not in a position to be required to judge, such as being someone in authority over others. That I am able to say "It is not my business what other people do, it is not my business how they choose to sin. We are ALL sinners. My sins are not less than yours."
It is not my business who you sleep with.
It is not my business how you dress.
It is not my business what bathroom you go into.
It is my business how I interact with you.
I will not shun you.
I will respect your pronouns, because I would much rather be polite than obnoxious.
It is your business how you choose to interact with me.
If you ASK me what my position on something is, do not expect me to lie. Being silent is the best I can do. Perhaps the fact that I disagree with you makes you feel that I am silently judging you. If you feel that, that makes me sad. It will not change my position, but it still makes me sad.
When I was younger, I was far too quick to speak up about what my position was, because I was insecure enough to be afraid that people might actually think that I agreed with XYZ if I remained silent, if I didn't quickly defend ABC instead, if I didn't correct people's assumptions. Perhaps I've gone too far in the other direction, but many painful interactions (and the internet is a TERRIBLE place to have nuanced discussions, really) have taught me that I ought to shut up instead. Mostly.
And I need to try not to worry about what I imagine people think of me. As do we all.
