Some Writerly Thoughts

[kerravonsen]

Phrases to avoid:

S/he wasn't stupid.

I've had to resist the temptation to use this one, quite recently. But really, the character's actions will show whether or not they are stupid, which makes the sentence redundant.

S/he wasn't naive.

Similarly for this one. Again, the next sentence will presumably describe in more detail why s/he wasn't naive, in which case that sentence isn't needed, or it won't, in which case you've got a problem because you're telling the reader something which you aren't willing to back up with character-action.(*)

S/he wasn't the type to...

Wishy-washy phrasing. Do, or do not, there is no "type". Well, unless one is talking about personality types but that isn't usually how a sentence like that is used.

---

(*) I was originally going to say "show, don't tell", but now I'm afraid to use that phrase since altariel (I think it was her) jumped on me (well, on my icon that had that on it) because "it's all telling!"... that is, it's all storytelling.

I think there's two aspects to why "telling" is commonly frowned on.
1) Merely a matter of style. Narrative-heavy stories with strong authorial voice are terribly unfashionable nowadays (while they were extremely common a ways back). A more cinematic style is what is "in". For this, I can understand why the annoyance arises about the "no telling" stuff.
2) Less a matter of style, and more a matter of respecting the intelligence of your reader. To "show" gives the reader a chance to draw their own conclusions, rather than telling them what they ought to think. "Telling" can also be used to make assertions without evidence; for example, the author tells the reader that the character is clever, but the character keeps on acting stupidly. (I vaguely recall someone mentioning an example of this kind of thing from Twilight, but I can't remember what it was)

Comments

[tree_and_leaf]

[Deleted because I commented on the wrong entry. No idea how.]

[kalypso]

I think those examples can be effective as internalised monologue, because people do announce "I'm not stupid!" (or expendable, or going...) if they think they're being treated as such, and are also likely to think those things to themselves. It's then open to the author to demonstrate whether the character in question is right or self-deluding!

[kerravonsen]

True.

[dreamflower]

I think those phrases have a place, and that's with irony. Usually they are effectively used when we are in a character's tight POV.

For example, A. is considering an especially stupid and inadvisable action-- aware that it is stupid, but wanting to do it anyway, she tells herself she is not stupid and therefore by a somewhat illogical extension if she does it the action would not be stupid. If the author has done her job right, the reader knows that while A. may otherwise be intelligent in this particular circumstance she IS stupid.

Or if it is from another POV, A's friend may be seeing this inadvisable course of action, and wonder why she would do it, since "She's not stupid."
How A's friend reacts to this adds a bit of "showing" to the telling, as the reader decides whether or not the friend is correct about the stupidity.

The same thing applies whenever a character's character is ruminated upon. I mean, people DO sometimes tell themselves they aren't stupid! It's just not something to be overused.

[kerravonsen]

Yep.

[teaoli.livejournal.com]

I think those phrases are used too often (and I'm guilty of doing it!), but as dreamflower02 said, there is a place for them. Tight character POV is one place; chatty/youthful/conspiratorial author's voice is another.

On your footnotes:

I think your #2 is terribly important to good storytelling, and so shouldn't be ignored. So long as there are people like you write such good explanations to back it up (and so long as people know and use the good explanations on occasion), "show, don't tell" will be a good, quick way to remind writers of the importance of giving their writers the benefit of the doubt.

That said, I've noticed a trend in recent years towards a large minority readers who prefer to be spoon-fed every detail, who want – or even expect – to be told what to think.

I prefer to cater to the readers who expect me to treat them like intelligent beings.

[kerravonsen]

I prefer to cater to the readers who expect me to treat them like intelligent beings.

(snark on)
Indeed. Unlike TV, I don't wish to pitch my work to an audience with a reading age of twelve...
(snark off)

[altariel.livejournal.com]

Did I jump? Bad me. But that will have been me. I use "show don't tell" as an instruction with novice writers still learning that writing narrative is different from describing a film, but ultimately I do believe we're in the telling game, and that even a minimalist style is simply a marker of a particular mindset towards "telling".

[kerravonsen]

As I said, "storytelling".

[jaxomsride.livejournal.com]

Oh I don't know I always liked Vila's "I'm not stupid, etc" speech.

I suppose it depends on where and how such phrases are used.

After all, if Snow White's narrator had said "she wasn't naive", there was no way the wicked stepmother would have fooled her twice. But then that would be a different fairytale. :¬D