Sentinel Thursday #73 (Jim)

[kerravonsen]

My first sentinel_thurs challenge.

Title: On the Bus
Challenge #73: Jim
Category: gen
Words: 165

Written on the bus 2005-01-12.


The wheels on the bus go round and round

Jim shifted in his hard plastic seat. The seats were an anti-vandalism measure, but whoever designed them was a sadist.

Round and round

His teeth ached. The vibration of the motor made the whole bus rattle. Now he knew how a tuning-fork felt.

Round and round

Jim sneezed. Too many smells: gas fumes, the soap scent of washed bodies, the old sweat of the unwashed ones, perfume, shampoo, bad breath, toothpaste... He breathed through his mouth, but he could still taste it.

The wheels on the bus go round and round

The squeal of the brakes stabbed through his ears into his skull. The jolt nearly threw him out of his seat as he covered his ears with his hands. Where did the driver learn how to drive -- in tinker-toy school?

All through the town

The hell with waiting for the bodyshop to get back to him. He was going to get a new truck.

Comments

[mistraltoes.livejournal.com]

LOL. That's finding inspiration around you! ;-)

[kerravonsen]

Actually, my bus was nicer than the one I was describing, but I knew that it would inspire me to recall more unpleasant busses that I had ridden on in the past, especially in the US. And the sudden-slam-on-the-brakes thing is universal with busses, I think. Depends on the driver, of course, but still...

[izhilzha.livejournal.com]

I really liked this, particularly the use of that song to evoke the endless jarring ride.

[Reminds me of when I was flying this year, and kept wondering how on earth Jim ever managed to stay sane on a plane. As if in answer, the woman in front of me donned white-noise headphones! ]

[kerravonsen]

Thanks. I love it when these things come together.

As if in answer, the woman in front of me donned white-noise headphones!

Oh yeah, I tried those once, they're really amazing.