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kerravonsenThere's been a lot of fail and outrage in fandom recently.
1. There is FAIL.
2. OUTRAGE ensues.
3. Failer becomes defensive and perpetrates more FAIL.
4. OUTRAGE doubles.
5. Failer's friends protest and perpetrate additional FAIL.
6. OUTRAGE triples.
7. Optimistic fools wonder aloud why we can't all just be friends.
8. OUTRAGE quadruples, this time directed at those who are outrageous enough not to join in the OUTRAGE.
I wish, I just wish that for once, the cycle would be cut off before step 3. Six words: "I'm sorry. It won't happen again."
I am not an optimistic fool, but in many things I am a pragmatist. Or perhaps I simply have different goals. I would hope that the goal of the OUTRAGE is to prevent FAIL. To change behaviour. Anger is a legitimate reaction to FAIL. When it becomes excessive, however, it not only becomes unreasonable, but it becomes ineffective, indeed counter-productive at the goal of preventing FAIL. And we get Step 5 and beyond.
We also get a chilling effect on others.
There is a story on my bunny-list which is set during the aftermath of an earthquake in the 1970s. I am having second thoughts about finishing it, due to fear of OUTRAGE being directed at me.
There's another reason I'm wary of participating in OUTRAGE. It's the pragmatist in me, again. Peer pressure is a common social tool for changing behaviour. But I am not a peer of these particular Failers. I am a stranger, they don't know me from Adam, they don't care what I think. Me joining in the OUTRAGE would not help.
The other side of that is that, well, I don't care what they think either. Why should I care what a complete stranger says anyway? Really. Someone is WRONG on the Internet. Big deal. Fail happens. Stupid happens. It will keep on happening. I am not going to fix the world by yelling at it. Keep calm, be polite. Lose your temper, lose the argument.
Take the latest round of FAIL. So someone made an insulting remark about people "being off their meds" because they disagreed with them. Yes, that's stupid and insulting. I'm "on meds" myself, and guess what? I am NOT taking that remark personally. I am not taking it as an insult to every person on the planet who is "on meds" either. (Or every person on the planet "on meds" who doesn't ship Doctor/Rose). I don't care. I simply don't care what this random stranger said. I don't give a stuff. Who is this person? Do they have a lot of influence or responsibility? No?(*) Then the potential for harm from their attitude is small. Why should I waste my time on something so unimportant in the scheme of things, then?
(*) Or, at least, they didn't until the OUTRAGE brought fandom's attention to them.
Perhaps this is bringing out the inner Slytherin in me.
ETA: Due to this post being linked to by metafandom and becoming a classic example of Step 8 of the above cycle, this post has been f-locked.
ETA 2: I've changed my mind after calming down and some positive advice. This entry is no longer f-locked, but comments are frozen, and new comments are screened.
1. There is FAIL.
2. OUTRAGE ensues.
3. Failer becomes defensive and perpetrates more FAIL.
4. OUTRAGE doubles.
5. Failer's friends protest and perpetrate additional FAIL.
6. OUTRAGE triples.
7. Optimistic fools wonder aloud why we can't all just be friends.
8. OUTRAGE quadruples, this time directed at those who are outrageous enough not to join in the OUTRAGE.
I wish, I just wish that for once, the cycle would be cut off before step 3. Six words: "I'm sorry. It won't happen again."
I am not an optimistic fool, but in many things I am a pragmatist. Or perhaps I simply have different goals. I would hope that the goal of the OUTRAGE is to prevent FAIL. To change behaviour. Anger is a legitimate reaction to FAIL. When it becomes excessive, however, it not only becomes unreasonable, but it becomes ineffective, indeed counter-productive at the goal of preventing FAIL. And we get Step 5 and beyond.
We also get a chilling effect on others.
There is a story on my bunny-list which is set during the aftermath of an earthquake in the 1970s. I am having second thoughts about finishing it, due to fear of OUTRAGE being directed at me.
There's another reason I'm wary of participating in OUTRAGE. It's the pragmatist in me, again. Peer pressure is a common social tool for changing behaviour. But I am not a peer of these particular Failers. I am a stranger, they don't know me from Adam, they don't care what I think. Me joining in the OUTRAGE would not help.
The other side of that is that, well, I don't care what they think either. Why should I care what a complete stranger says anyway? Really. Someone is WRONG on the Internet. Big deal. Fail happens. Stupid happens. It will keep on happening. I am not going to fix the world by yelling at it. Keep calm, be polite. Lose your temper, lose the argument.
Take the latest round of FAIL. So someone made an insulting remark about people "being off their meds" because they disagreed with them. Yes, that's stupid and insulting. I'm "on meds" myself, and guess what? I am NOT taking that remark personally. I am not taking it as an insult to every person on the planet who is "on meds" either. (Or every person on the planet "on meds" who doesn't ship Doctor/Rose). I don't care. I simply don't care what this random stranger said. I don't give a stuff. Who is this person? Do they have a lot of influence or responsibility? No?(*) Then the potential for harm from their attitude is small. Why should I waste my time on something so unimportant in the scheme of things, then?
(*) Or, at least, they didn't until the OUTRAGE brought fandom's attention to them.
Perhaps this is bringing out the inner Slytherin in me.
ETA: Due to this post being linked to by metafandom and becoming a classic example of Step 8 of the above cycle, this post has been f-locked.
ETA 2: I've changed my mind after calming down and some positive advice. This entry is no longer f-locked, but comments are frozen, and new comments are screened.
(frozen) Here From Metafandom (and not to crucify you ;-)
Date: 2010-07-19 08:38 pm (UTC)It also seems that in fandom there is one true way to think of things, and if you deviate then you're going to get tarred and feathered. I have a disability, but I don't agree with a lot of the rhetoric out there, but I know I would get crucified if I spoke my mind about it. And really, I enjoy being able to speak my mind.
I also think some of the people above are way off base on comparing things people said to the situation in Nazi Germany. Outrage can be helpful if Congress is going to pass some discriminatory legislation or the whatnot. But some Joe Shmoe on the internet saying something offensive is better off being ignored like a troll. In fact, by drawing so much attention to what someone said I think we're giving that person more credit than they're due. Whether the attention is positive or negative, they get their time in the spotlight. Why not put people doing something constructive and good in such a spotlight for a change? A lot of people feed off negative attention. It's better than being ignored.
That, and if we highlight what people are doing correctly, then we give people information on how to deal constructively and respectfully with racism/sexism/ableism, etc. Sometimes people simply never learned how to deal with it well, and yelling at them for doing it wrong is not going to help.
I learned a long time ago that I'm a lot happier when I stopped associating with people who say offensive statements by trying to change them or expressing anger at them. Contrary to pop psychology (I am a psychologist) anger just begets more anger. It isn't cathartic. You get stuck in it. I'd much rather focus my efforts on positive change than to remain mired in anger. You can't control what other people say, think, or do, but you can control how you react to it.
(frozen) Re: Here From Metafandom (and not to crucify you ;-)
Date: 2010-07-19 10:50 pm (UTC)THANK YOU.