Drive-by Linkage

[kerravonsen]

Schrödinger’s Rapist: or a guy’s guide to approaching strange women without being maced.

Comments

[jedibuttercup]

Tweeting this, thanks.

[watervole.livejournal.com]

Interesting article, but she screws up some statistics. She treats all cases of sexual assualt as rape when working out how many man are rapists.

I was sexually assaulted when a teenager, but not raped. It wasn't nice, but it wasn't nearly as bad as rape - and, as far as I know, the man didn't rape anyone.

It has to be less than 1in60 men who are rapists.

[kerravonsen]

I some ways, it doesn't matter what the statistics are, so long as one acknowledges that (a) rape (and assault) IS a problem and (b) therefore women do NOT feel safe in talking to random strangers and (c) guys have absolutely no right to demand that women who are strangers to them give them any attention at all.
It's more a case of risk analysis than probability, if you see what I mean.

(icon love)

[lonemagpie.livejournal.com]

Nobody of either gender has a *right* to demand that anyone else give them attention. It's not a gender difference thing, it's straightforward human-beings thing.

[kerravonsen]

Of course its a straightforward human-beings thing! But for many men, albeit not even consciously, the world is divided into "people" and "women". I'm not talking the risk-of-rape thing at this level, just simple sexism. It's the kind of thing I've run into in hobbyist programming circles, for example (where the proportion of women is only 1.5%).

I think part of the reason why I like the article is on the sexism level, as a consciousness-raising exersize, to point out that, basically, actions that a man may consider to be "friendly" are anything but.

Maybe part of it is a culture thing; I've noticed that British men have been much more polite and considerate to random strangers than American men (as a general rule).

[lonemagpie.livejournal.com]

It probably is a culture thing - but the valuable and correct things in the article apply to everybody equally, and casting them in the "them against us" political light just makes it come over as the same kind of ranting that... I dunno, survivalists or something - "us and them" where "them= enemy" - but as you say, very much the sort of extremism that UKers shake their heads over.

Anyway, I'm deleting comments and pulling out of the thread, because I do LJ for fun, not to piss people off or fall out with friends.

[kerravonsen]

but as you say, very much the sort of extremism that UKers shake their heads over
(smiles at the vision this evokes)

Anyway, I'm deleting comments and pulling out of the thread, because I do LJ for fun, not to piss people off or fall out with friends.
Likewise, I've deleted my replies to said comments.

[lonemagpie.livejournal.com]

but as you say, very much the sort of extremism that UKers shake their heads over
(smiles at the vision this evokes)

Not sure how else to put it. There are just times when things show up on the news or interviews that prompt a "that's crazy" response in the rest of the world - for example, this week there was a story about a North Carolina burning "satanic" books, including all Bibles that aren't King James versions. And all genres of music.

And most of the people in that church are probably otherwise nice and sensible people, but you see that and the only thing you can think is "what a bunch of loonies!" cos that's how they cast themselves with that publicity.

We seem to have the same thing here.

And usually that's followed with an "only in America" but that bit isn't true, as anyone who's seen the Daily Mail can tell you...

[jaxomsride.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure what makes my hair stand on end more, her article or the reactions to it and I'm female!

You know I have never, ever been afraid to walk around on my own in the dark anywhere.

Perhaps I have the wrong mental attitude, I don't regard every male I meet on the walk home as a "potential rapist". They are just guys on the street. Evidently I don't have what it takes to be a feminist and view the male of the species as "the enemy".

[kerravonsen]

You know I have never, ever been afraid to walk around on my own in the dark anywhere.
I think there are two reasons why women tend to be afraid to walk around in the dark. One is if they themselves have been assaulted (which would frighten the bejuzes out of anyone). The other is the social conditioning of other people worrying about them, telling them they should be afraid of walking around in the dark.

Me, I'm a mix, I think. I'm not afraid of walking home in the dark from my parents place to mine - yet my parents insist that I always ring them when I get home, to demonstrate that I've gotten home safely. Do that enough times and self-doubt sets in: "Maybe I should be afraid. Everyone is telling me I should be afraid. They can't all be wrong, can they?"

On the other hand, if I'm in the city at night, and see a group of young men, or a man who looks as if he's been drinking, I am afraid of them, and hope that I won't be noticed. Does that mean that I'm a rabid feminist who thinks of men as "the enemy"? I darn well don't think so! And, no, I'm not thinking of them as potential rapists, no; but as potential givers of verbal abuse and physical intimidation, things which are far more likely than rape. Drunks are unpredictable; that's scary.

[jaxomsride.livejournal.com]

It used to bug me that at 21 my parents used to play merry hell with me when I walked home from a friends house late at night.
My older brothers could stay out as long as they wanted and got no hassle at all.

Guess which one got into fights and trouble with the law?

They claimed to be afraid for my safety but even if I did see anyone (which was actually very rare) all I did was give them a nod in passing. Not one of them took that as an excuse to "accost" me.

Now I have been verbally and sexually assaulted by people I know. This hasn't made me afraid of men in general. Angry and wary of particular individuals, but not men as a race.

But Yes drunks can be unpredictable though I'd be more worried about them picking a fight or throwing up on me than raping me.