FIC: Testing

[kerravonsen]

I have committed fic for the 2008 Bujold fest at bujold_fic.
Testing (Vorkosiverse/Harry Potter (fusion AU))

It hasn't been betaed, because I had run out of time before it was due to be posted. So any constructive criticism would be appreciated before I post it elsewhere. Even a better title.

Comments

[daiseechain.livejournal.com]

That was great! Really made me smile, and the thought of Miles at Hogwarts is a fairly terrifying concept. I'm not entirely convinced he would be in Slytherin, as I think he has as much, if not more, of a 'saving people thing' than Harry, but I can see how you got him there.

The only suggestion I would make would be to remove the last scene altogether - the one with just Miles and Ivan. I thought you'd written it clearly enough without the exposition. Maybe just a line in the whispered conversation between Miles and Draco in the second to last scene. But it would be even better if you could come up with a suitably Milesian favour to put Draco through.

Titles? I think 'Testing' works quite well, but if you really want to change it how about "The Magician's Apprentice" or "Coming up short"?

[kerravonsen]

Hmmm, I'll think about the explanation bit.

I have no idea what the favour would be!

Okay, I'll keep the title as "Testing".