Meme mutation

[kerravonsen]

Okay, I'm posting a variation on the "cliff, shag, marry" meme.
Make a comment listing three characters from fandoms I know. I have to chose which one gets which fate amongst the following three fates (one fate for each character):
- shag-or-die (I must shag them or we both die)
- marry-or-die (I must marry them or we both die)
- mentor-or-die (Either they must teach me some skill, or I must teach them some skill, or we both die)

Comments

[watervole.livejournal.com]

Chewbacca, Luke Skywalker, Obi-wan Kenobi

[kerravonsen]

Oh you are evil.

Well, I'm not going to marry or shag a wookie, call me speciesist if you must. And it would be rather difficult for teaching to go on when we don't have a language in common. Well, I guess the obvious thing is that he has to teach me wookie or we both die. We're quite possibly both doomed.

Luke may be a nice guy, but he's a bit of an idiot. So I'd rather marry Obi-Wan, especially the younger version. And Luke gets shagged.

[jinxed-wood.livejournal.com]

[Sniggers evilly] Blake, Avon, and Vila

[kerravonsen]

Marry Avon, because (a) he's the one I care about most and (b) he keeps his word.

Shag Vila, because (a) he'd be the most willing and (b) I'm not sure about his teachability or teaching ability

So Blake gets mentored, and I have to teach him... how the Australian preferential voting system works. I think we both live.

[hawkeye7.livejournal.com]

Rose, Martha, and Donna.

[kerravonsen]

Marry a woman? I'd rather die. So it's Rose, and we both die.

Shag a woman? So not turned on. So we both die again. Donna.

So, the mentoring thing is Martha, and we both live, because it doesn't matter what the subject is, we could teach and be teachable, because we're both smart.

[hawkeye7.livejournal.com]

Marry a woman?
Here's how: you don a collar and recite the appropriate liturgy. (And try not to sound so much like Dawn French!)

Course if you just want to kill Rose, that's perfectly understandable... go ahead.

PS: Luv the icon!

[kerravonsen]

Here's how: you don a collar and recite the appropriate liturgy.
I'm not called to be a minister.

Course if you just want to kill Rose, that's perfectly understandable... go ahead.
Well, I did, kind of.

PS: Luv the icon!

Thanks!

[izhilzha.livejournal.com]

Larry Fleinhardt, Colby Granger, Don Eppes.

[kerravonsen]

Ha!

I'd have to marry Don, because I wouldn't want to take Larry away from Megan, and I've now seen to the end of S3 and I wouldn't want to marry Colby because of what he did. Actually I'd rather Don than Colby anyway, even if I didn't know about Colby.

Shag Colby, because he's a bit of hunk, though if it was after the end of S3, I'd really be tempted to refuse, even though I'd die. Yes, loyalty is important to me.

So Larry is the mentor, and he'd teach me... physics. 8-)

[izhilzha.livejournal.com]

Hard choices, imho. Nicely done. *g*

*refrains from comment about Colby, both to avoid any spoilers and because the end of season 3 really kind of devastated me*

[mistraltoes.livejournal.com]

Eek! I must confess I'd find this conundrum utterably baffling.

Edit: Gah. I think I meant utterly baffling. Or unutterably baffling. You see how confused the very idea makes me?

[kerravonsen]

Are you trying to say that you would find it difficult to choose between the three of them, or that the choice is utterly obvious?

[mistraltoes.livejournal.com]

I would have a *great* deal of difficulty making that choice. I adore both Larry and Don, and like Colby much more than I thought I ever would.

[kerravonsen]

I too love Larry and Don, but as I said, I wouldn't want to take Larry away from Megan.

[mistraltoes.livejournal.com]

Five, Nine, and Ten.

[kerravonsen]

Oh boy. That's hard. Hard to choose between them.

Ah, I have it!
Marry Five, not only because he's sweet, but because when I shagged Nine, it wouldn't actually be disloyalty, since he's the same person. Though I expect Time Lord marriages are "until regeneration do us part".

Which leaves Ten in the mentor thing. Which he'd probably be a bit rubbish at, since he's not really patient (either at teaching or learning), but since he's brilliant at saving people's lives, we'd still both live. Who'd teach, and what would be taught? Um, he has to teach me how to send messages to the psychic paper, so that he could rescue me. Either that, or I have to teach him macrame, so that we can provide a handmade gift to the Emperor of Redans-Porlo, as all foreign visitors are required to do.

Edited to add: And because he had a ball of string in his pocket. Or he didn't and we had to make something from a lock of my hair, which he cut off with the sonic screwdriver, and since the hair was my contribution, he had to do the actual knotting.