Passing

[kerravonsen]

My father has passed away overnight. No surprise, we knew it was coming, his 94-year-old frame could take no more.

Just finished a long Zoom meeting where the family were hashing out the funeral arrangements. To my surprise, the restrictions have lifted enough that we can actually have a funeral (20 people only). We're going to use invite-only Zoom to enable non-immediate family, and friends, to join in. (Yay technology)
The actual date of the funeral is going to depend on when brother #2 can get here, and that will depend on what limited transport is available... we shall see.

I'm feeling a bit mentally exhausted right now. And a little shaky.

Comments

[tptigger]

*sits down next to you and offers hugs*

[kerravonsen]

*hugs*

[(Anonymous)]

So sorry to hear your news Kathryn. Even if it was not unexpected its a huge shock - don't expect things to feel normal for some time
Look back on all the good times and memories; he will always be part of you. Best wishes to all your family too.
Hugs and best wishes, I'll write more privately sometime later. But you'll be in my thoughts all day.

best - David

[kerravonsen]

Thanks.

I think it does make a difference whether it is unexpected or not; it's easier to make peace with it when it is not unexpected. But from past experience, I know there's going to be moments in my future when I miss him terribly.

[sallymn]

We miss them forever, that is true; it will be slow, but I am sure there will come a time when the memories bring more peace and joy than pain.

My deepest sympathies, take care and be easy on yourself, the difficulties and isolation of the present must be making it harder....

[kerravonsen]

The hardest thing for me right now... trying not to wallow in regret for the times I did not spend with him.

It is odd but fascinating, how each death is different, as each person is different, even though I keep on thinking "this time I will cope better, I have more experience". Nope.

[raine]

My condolences.

[kerravonsen]

Thanks.

[reynardo]

*hugs*

[kerravonsen]

*hugs back*

[fred_mouse]

Condolences to you and yours.

[kerravonsen]

Thank you.

[calliopes_pen]

You have my condolences!

[kerravonsen]

Thank you.

[tree_and_leaf]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

[kerravonsen]

Thank you.

[thewayne]

My condolences to you and your family. 94 is quite a respectable age to attain, my mother's mother made it to 96 and her son to 92 or 94, there's some confusion as to what year he was born in.

Get lots of rest. Cuddling with cats and dogs is a good thing, too.

[kerravonsen]

Alas, no cats or dogs to cuddle with. But thanks.

[watervole]

Warm, loving Hugs.

I think inviting people by Zoom could work really well. You'll probably need to mute people during the actual service to avoid too much sound feedback, but then all talk afterwards.

[kerravonsen]

*hugs*

My brother is intending to get professionals in to look after all the A/V tech stuff, so I expect they will know how to take care of that.

[vera_j]

I am so sorry - my condolences.
*HUGS*

[kerravonsen]

Thank you. (hugs)

[cheyinka]

Eternal rest grant to him, O Lord, and perpetual light shine upon him. May his soul, and the souls of all the faithful departed, rest in peace; and may those who mourn him be comforted.

[kerravonsen]

Amen.
Thank you.

[jaxomsride2]

My condolences to you and your family.
At least Zoom will allow them to be there in spirit.

Look after yourself.

[kerravonsen]

Thank you.
Look after myself? Nah, I'm no good at that.

[lizbee]

My condolences to you and your family.

[kerravonsen]

Thank you.

[kalypso]

Very sorry that his time has run out. I hope you are able to arrange a good funeral, even if not everyone can be there to pay their respects and support you in person.

[kerravonsen]

Thank you.

[kaffy_r]

I'm sorry for your loss. No matter how expected a loved one's passing is, it is still a loss. Your exhaustion and shakiness are completely understandable. May your father's memory be for a blessing.

[kerravonsen]

I am trying to focus on "blessing for what you had" rather than "regret for what you didn't do".

[kaffy_r]

I understand that very well. There have been many times that I've regretted not being with my mum more before she died in 2013; I've had to focus on the blessing that she was, to me and to others around her. It can be very hard. Do what you can, but do not beat yourself up. Your father doesn't want you to.