Thought For the Day

[kerravonsen]

Those who are suffering greatly may win through to a kind of serenity, not because things have gotten better, but because their survival depends on it. They must consciously reject the voice of despair, because the destruction that Despair will wreak is more than they can recover from. On the left, a precipice. On the right, a fog. There are no other choices left.

Comments

[watervole]

Very sensible. Difficult, but essential.

Hug.

[kerravonsen]

*hugs*

[marta-bee.livejournal.com]

This reminds me of what a particularly wise priest-friend of mine said about the Catholic position on forgiveness. That the call to forgive those who trespass against us was less about saying what they'd done was okay, it was about giving ourselves the freedom to not judge them, not be any kind of relationship at all, just to walk away if we needed to and not be bound to them.

It seems technical when I try to explain it, but at the time it struck me as profound, a lot like what you said above. Wise words, I thought.

[kerravonsen]

That the call to forgive those who trespass against us was less about saying what they'd done was okay

Of course not. That would be excusing their behaviour, not forgiving it. It's a pity that many people confuse the two.

it was about giving ourselves the freedom to not judge them, not be any kind of relationship at all, just to walk away if we needed to and not be bound to them.

There's a saying that's attributed to all sorts of people who didn't say it, that holding onto a grudge is like drinking poison and hoping it will kill your enemy.

A lesson that was hard-won for me, was that it isn't necessary for someone to ask for forgiveness before you can forgive them. Indeed. you don't even have to tell them that you've forgiven them (for in some cases, they wouldn't comprehend that they had done anything that needed forgiving, so telling them that you'd forgiven them would be an exersize in futility). The point in that one-sided kind of forgiveness is that it drains out that poison of bitter resentment which hurts no-one but yourself. And, yes, it is freeing.