Ace in the Hole

[kerravonsen]

Livejournal ficlet challenge, details at end.
Requested by: vilakins
Words: 400

Ace in the Hole

"We're outnumbered."

"Bravo! The man can count."

"Can you shoot as fast as you talk?"

"Faster."

Tarrant and Soolin exchanged fire with the squad of troopers. Then one of the troopers fell whom neither of them had shot at. Tarrant caught a glimpse of brown hair, a pale face, a brown leather-clad sleeve poking around the corner of a building behind the squad.

"I don't believe it."

"What, you don't believe that we might actually encounter an unexpected, unknown ally? You're right, I don't believe it either."

"Oh, he isn't unknown. That's my cousin. Which is a problem, because Arn is dead."

"Yes, that would be rather a problem."

They concentrated on shooting, though Tarrant was off his form because he kept on looking at their mysterious ally.

"I don't think he's an android," he remarked. "His shooting style is too human."

"They make androids that can shoot like that?"

"My brother was killed by one."

"Sorry."

Soon there were only a few troopers left. The trap had turned into an ambush.

"He could be a clone, but who would want to clone my cousin?"

"I thought the Clonemasters were destroyed in the Galactic War?"

"Well, they could have done it before the war, or maybe on Auron before it was destroyed, but it doesn't seem likely, does it?"

The unaccountable Arn waved his arm at them, gesturing them to come over to him. They stepped around the troopers' bodies and over to his side. He clapped Tarrant on the shoulder.

"Saw you were in a spot of bother, old chum, so I thought I'd lend a hand. Not that you'd really need it, eh, Sparkles?"

"Sparkles?" Soolin exclaimed.

"And who's the lovely lady?" He flashed a brilliant smile at Soolin, which outshone Tarrant's smile like a sun is outshone by a supernova. Soolin blinked.

"You are not my cousin Arn!" Tarrant said grimly, pointing his gun at the stranger. "You aren't even a good imitation. Arn never called me 'Sparkles'."

Before 'Arn' could blink, Soolin had her gun pointed at his heart. "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't shoot you."

He turned his high-voltage smile on her again. "But surely a beautiful woman like you wouldn't shoot me?"

She shot him. He collapsed onto the ground.

"That wasn't a good reason," she said.

"Smoke me a kipper," he gasped. "I'll be back... for break... fast." And died.

---

Livejournal ficlet challenge details:
Requested by: vilakins
Characters: Tarrant, Soolin
Title: Ace in the Hole
Dialog: "Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast!"

Comments

[vilakins.livejournal.com]

Thanks! Poor Arn, when he'd helped them too. And what was he? I'm surprised there's anyone in Tarrant's family whose name doesn't start with De.

I still have one more for you when I've thought it up. :-)

[kerravonsen]

Poor Arn, when he'd helped them too.
Well, the original version had them going back to his ship and him leaving, and it was so utterly boring that I deleted it after the point where Tarrant declares that this isn't his cousin. Then I moped around for a while, trying to think of another way of ending it, and putting the line in as well. Then when I was explaining my problem to my father, I mentioned "they'd as soon shoot him as look at him", and there was my ending. After all, this is B7, where the guest characters die all the time (especially in season 4).

I'm surprised there's anyone in Tarrant's family whose name doesn't start with De.
Ah, but it was the Tarrants who were fond of De. The Rimmers named their first son "Arn". (grin)

What do you mean what was he? He was the original Ace Rimmer from Red Dwarf, who had the misfortune to land in the B7 universe. Tarrant's cousin was his counterpart.

[vilakins.livejournal.com]

Yeah, but I thought there was a B7 explanation of some sort too. Don't worry. I was just making things more complicated in my furred-up brain than they were.

they'd as soon shoot him as look at him

LOL! Very true.

And hey, it's just occurred to me that Lister and Restal are almost anagrams. :-)

[mistraltoes.livejournal.com]

And hey, it's just occurred to me that Lister and Restal are almost anagrams. :-)

Fic! Fic! Fic! :-)

[mistraltoes.livejournal.com]

Poor Rimmer! That's just what would happen to him in the B7 universe. Also, IMO the Soolin voice is just right.

[kerravonsen]

Poor Rimmer! That's just what would happen to him in the B7 universe.
Yeah, guest-characters get shot all the time...

Also, IMO the Soolin voice is just right.
(happy dance)