Resolution

[kerravonsen]

I pledge to overcome my social conditioning to be polite to creepy guys.
I pledge to be blunt but not angry.
I pledge to project body language of confidence and calm (even if I am feeling neither confident nor calm).

Instead of cringing and wishing he would go away, I will say "I am not talking to you. Go away."(*)
If he says "I was just trying to be friendly," I will say "You failed."
If he says "There's no need to be rude," I will say "Being polite wasn't working."
If he calls me names, I will say "That's why I don't want to talk to you."

(Prompted by this and re-reading this)

(*) There was a guy who was an ex-co-worker who was also a regular con-goer; I didn't like him, but I didn't want to be rude, so I would converse when he talked to me. I would cringe when I saw him at cons, and go in the opposite direction. Finally I got sick of trying to avoid him, so I said the aforementioned "I am not talking to you". Surprisingly, it worked.

Comments

[watervole]

Hug. Social conditioning is really hard to overcome. Go for it!

[infiniteviking]

*hugs also, and cheers you on.* This is an excellent pledge.

[droxy.livejournal.com]

Hugs. Inner confidence allows one to deal with all sorts of folks.

Your replies are great...=)

[jaxomsride.livejournal.com]

I'm with the can't relate to Schrodingers rapist brigade too. I have never been afraid to walk home at night. I quite regularly pass males on the way and don't do a "threat assessment" on them either.

Mind you I have had to deal with a creep at work. Reminding him there was a sexual harassment policy in place and that I found his overtures neither amusing nor attractive and the next time he did behave so I'd report him stopped the behaviour dead. I said so in front of witnesses too. Sometimes you have to be blunt as subtle doesn't always work.

[izhilzha.livejournal.com]

I love this!

Although I, too, have never been bothered by guys in the "creepy sex way" I have far too many close friends whom this regularly happens to. It makes me sad. :(

[kittylefish.livejournal.com]

this was a great post. you are right, it's good to have replies on hand. i had seen the first thing you linked to. had not seen the other, and also don't relate to assessing men in that way, have not been much bothered with unwanted attention (except maybe construction workers in my youth, lol). but it's a valid point. i wonder if some of it is an age thing - when i was younger, there wasn't so much talk about those rape statistics and date rape was not yet a concept with a name, though it undoubtedly was a thing that happened.

[imhilien.livejournal.com]

*offers chocolate*