This Deserves Its Own Post

[kerravonsen]

There is no "us and them". There is only "us". Why can't they see that?

...Ooops.

That was a sequence of thoughts which occurred to me a couple of weeks ago. I struggled with it for a while. Because how can I embrace "them" when "they" do awful things? How can I embrace rich men and politicians and other distasteful people? How can I love my enemies?

Then it came to me.

There is no "us and them". There is only "me and you".

That is my new mantra. I am trying to live by it.

To explain: sure, every person is part of a group, indeed, part of many groups, and those groups do inform that person's behaviour. But each person is also an individual, sole and unique. So treat every person you interact with as an individual, no matter WHAT groups they may belong to, even if they are part of the "not-we".

Being Continuum last weekend, I tried to keep this in mind... and my life has already been the richer for it.

\o/

(Yes, there will be Continuum report, but probably tomorrow.)

Comments

[izhilzha.livejournal.com]

Ah, yes! Oh, I like this a lot. I recently read an article where someone was encouraging people to do just this... love each individual, regardless of what they might do or think or say or believe. Because it's only at that level that we can really choose love.

I would love to hear more about this from you, if you have thoughts on it.

[kerravonsen]

I think this was such a revelation to me because it's in the context of "us and them" rather than "love everybody". The former is something I've been wrangling with for some time, while the latter has worn itself down into a cliche, alas.

Because it's only at that level that we can really choose love.

Yes. Yes.

Several examples spring to mind of Christ's interaction with people on exactly that level: the woman at the well, an individual rather than A Samaritan; Zacchaeus, an individual rather than A Tax Collector... and so on.

Groups... are a way of coping with the complexity of life, but when it comes down to it, every action by groups of human beings is really done by individuals within that group. Groups can do nothing, only individuals can act.

[izhilzha.livejournal.com]

Groups... are a way of coping with the complexity of life, but when it comes down to it, every action by groups of human beings is really done by individuals within that group. Groups can do nothing, only individuals can act.

Well put. And actually, this is really helpful to me in terms of honoring other people. It's much easier for me to reach out to those different from myself (I mean *really* different, radical variations in culture or upbringings or experiences) when I think of each person as a growing, changing individual.

If I allow myself to think in groups (especially supposed hierarchies of groups, whether those imposed by a majority or those pled for by the obviously disenfranchised), it gets hard to remember that I, too, am a worthwhile human being, and that honoring others need not mean erasing any part of myself.