Late comment, perhaps: I quite like the concept of "cultural humility", which is in counterpoint to "cultural competence." Unlike cultural competence, it acknowledges that no one can every really fully understand the impact of race, SES, etc on individuals, and that to say "I took a class on Topic X and now I know all about what it's like to be a member of People Y and so I know what People Y want in healthcare/customer service/pick your topic." We should all be humble when approaching individuals of different groups, because (1) they are individuals, as you say, not just group members and (2) while we can be sensitive and try to acknowledge another person's experience and how it has impacted that person's outlook, we can't ever really know what it's like to that other person because s/he is an individual; to think that we can "know" in the way that some have construed cultural competence can come off as disrespectful.