Snape Would Probably Think That Fandom Was Full Of Gryffindors

[kerravonsen]

There's been a lot of fail and outrage in fandom recently.

1. There is FAIL.
2. OUTRAGE ensues.
3. Failer becomes defensive and perpetrates more FAIL.
4. OUTRAGE doubles.
5. Failer's friends protest and perpetrate additional FAIL.
6. OUTRAGE triples.
7. Optimistic fools wonder aloud why we can't all just be friends.
8. OUTRAGE quadruples, this time directed at those who are outrageous enough not to join in the OUTRAGE.

I wish, I just wish that for once, the cycle would be cut off before step 3. Six words: "I'm sorry. It won't happen again."

I am not an optimistic fool, but in many things I am a pragmatist. Or perhaps I simply have different goals. I would hope that the goal of the OUTRAGE is to prevent FAIL. To change behaviour. Anger is a legitimate reaction to FAIL. When it becomes excessive, however, it not only becomes unreasonable, but it becomes ineffective, indeed counter-productive at the goal of preventing FAIL. And we get Step 5 and beyond.

We also get a chilling effect on others.
There is a story on my bunny-list which is set during the aftermath of an earthquake in the 1970s. I am having second thoughts about finishing it, due to fear of OUTRAGE being directed at me.

There's another reason I'm wary of participating in OUTRAGE. It's the pragmatist in me, again. Peer pressure is a common social tool for changing behaviour. But I am not a peer of these particular Failers. I am a stranger, they don't know me from Adam, they don't care what I think. Me joining in the OUTRAGE would not help.

The other side of that is that, well, I don't care what they think either. Why should I care what a complete stranger says anyway? Really. Someone is WRONG on the Internet. Big deal. Fail happens. Stupid happens. It will keep on happening. I am not going to fix the world by yelling at it. Keep calm, be polite. Lose your temper, lose the argument.

Take the latest round of FAIL. So someone made an insulting remark about people "being off their meds" because they disagreed with them. Yes, that's stupid and insulting. I'm "on meds" myself, and guess what? I am NOT taking that remark personally. I am not taking it as an insult to every person on the planet who is "on meds" either. (Or every person on the planet "on meds" who doesn't ship Doctor/Rose). I don't care. I simply don't care what this random stranger said. I don't give a stuff. Who is this person? Do they have a lot of influence or responsibility? No?(*) Then the potential for harm from their attitude is small. Why should I waste my time on something so unimportant in the scheme of things, then?

(*) Or, at least, they didn't until the OUTRAGE brought fandom's attention to them.

Perhaps this is bringing out the inner Slytherin in me.

ETA: Due to this post being linked to by metafandom and becoming a classic example of Step 8 of the above cycle, this post has been f-locked.

ETA 2: I've changed my mind after calming down and some positive advice. This entry is no longer f-locked, but comments are frozen, and new comments are screened.

Comments

(frozen comment) via metafandom also.

[mullenkamp]

Perhaps you feel that comparing Fail-and-Outrage to a personal dispute is not fitting, but why not? All the parties involved are people, are they not? And whatever the incident, the first spark of it is always going to involve two people. Thus, a personal dispute.

Here's where I think that argument not only falls flat, but is downright offensive: Fail is never merely a personal dispute. Ever. Because, as a woman of color in fandom, when Racefail happens in fandom? I am personally affected by it whether it was personally directed at me or not. That's the way racism works, for crying out loud. Because every time shit like this happens, we as marginalized people get our daily reminder that we're the Other and that our feelings don't fucking matter, our pain is trivial, and we don't get to join in the reindeer games. Every time there's racefail in fandom I think back to when my ignorant assed ex-roommate giggled and told me I was more of a white girl than she was, that I wasn't really black I was "transracial" (because I didn't fit her stereotyped understanding of what black women are like). I think of the "whoa, don't piss M. off, she'll get ghetto on you" comments from a "friendly" guild member on World of Warcraft, and people deliberately mispronouncing my Death Knight's name as "Shenehneh" (it's Shinayne, a Drow name from Forgotten Realms). I think of the weird looks I got when I cosplayed Integra from Hellsing, and the snide comments that I should just "stick to people who look like me" (I guess all those 5 foot tall white girls dressed as Sephiroth are just fine). In short, I get reminded that even in my hobby, when I am just trying to relax and have fun, I have to deal with the same kind of hurtful, malicious ignorance that I have to deal with at work, at the grocery store, at school--that there is no fucking respite anywhere, not even in a place that is ostensibly fun and frivolous. I am so tired of clueless white people acting like racism is simply about personal one-on-one interactions between people rather than a systematic, institutionalized cancer that permeates every aspect of PoC's lives. None of this shit happens in a vacuum. Your analogy about feuding housemates is way the hell off. Racism (or any other kind of -ism for that matter) isn't about Joe being mean to Fred, it's about Joe having had every sort of unearned advantage over Fred from the day they both moved into the house, proceeding to punch Fred in the face, and then getting angry, defensive and starting to cry when Fred tells Joe that his nose is broken and bleeding. And then Joe asks what the big deal is and tells Fred he's just imagining that punch to the face. And that Joe didn't really mean to make him bleed or break anything so why is Fred so upset? Especially when people have been punching Fred in the face almost from the time he was born and people have rarely come to his aid offering to take him to the ER or something.

As an aside--I'm really rather weary of people's melodramatic ~ woe, but I should just give up~ statements when people dare to challenge them on these things. Beyond weary, actually. That kind of foolishness doesn't help anything, and just comes across as petulant, childish, and insensitive to the point of privileged. Guess what? I don't get the option to "just give up now", as a black woman, as a queer person. Marginalized people in fandom "just give up" by getting the hell out because it's just not welcome for us, because we have to fight just to get basic respect as human beings in a setting that's not even serious, when we're just trying to have fun like everyone else. I understand the frustration of feeling like people aren't understanding what you're saying, (LAWL, NO RLY, it's kinda like trying to explain to oblivious white fans why the shit they did was racist!) I mean I hear that. But if you really feel like you miscommunicated something or someone didn't understand what you were trying to say, apologize and try to clarify. There is no need for the tragic Scarlett O'Hara routine, I don't care if it is on your own journal. Especially when you're coupling it with the four billionth tired iteration of the Tone Argument.

(frozen comment) Re: via metafandom also.

[dancesontrains]

THANK YOU.

(frozen comment) Re: via metafandom also.

[kerravonsen]

Aaaand what did that rant achieve? You made ME angry and defensive at YOU. I wanted to rant back at you. Fortunately, I slept on it before I gave in to that impulse. I am not your enemy. Please to be directing your anger at a more precise target, like actual racists.

Or run for Congress. Put all that anger and energy to good use, instead of wasting your time here, attacking someone who did not want to be your enemy. You certainly didn't make me your friend. Fortunately, I despise racists with a deep abiding anger, so at least you didn't lose someone for your cause. But you certainly didn't help.

(frozen comment) Re: via metafandom also.

[sodzilla]

Frankly, and I realize you probably won't caaaare about this because I'm just a straaangeeer on the 'net and my opinion doesn't matter... making you angry and defensive would be pretty worthwhile in itself. You're saying some very jerkish things and then trying to paint yourself as the wise and noble one.

(frozen comment) Re: via metafandom also.

[kerravonsen]

And see the last point in the cycle; people being OUTRAGED at those who are outrageous enough not to be OUTRAGED. You prove my point nicely.

(frozen comment) Re: via metafandom also.

[kerravonsen]

That's because I am the wise and noble one. (grin)

(frozen comment) Re: via metafandom also.

[cesy]

Characterising people as racist/not racist is a generally unhelpful dichotomy. Most people occasionally exhibit racist behaviour. It helps if people can admit that, apologise, and try not to do it again, without getting labelled as "you are an evil racist".